A few days before Mother’s Day, I headed to Denver for the 74th Annual Conference of the American Humanist Association’s Annual Conference. I, along with three other Directors of The Clergy Project (TCP), were sharing the work of TCP, each of us introducing a different aspect of the many realities faced by clergy caught in the pulpit long after their beliefs no longer hold.
Michael Thomas Tower spoke of the challenge of being gay while going through the process of deconversion, John Compere addressed realities facing married clergy whose spouses have not deconverted, and Terry Plank, President of TCP, gave an overview of what the organization does and who it represents. I spoke on the value of remaining in the pulpit as your beliefs change and bringing your congregation along with you by speaking a language that those on both sides of the god debate would be able to understand.
During the weekend, I had the opportunity to hear and engage with some amazing speakers and authors. Neil Carter, a TCP member who blogs as “Godless in Dixie” on Patheos, has inspired me for some time with his close range combat around the issues of deconversion in a Bible Belt setting. Bob Faw, who actually started the blog “Sustainable Flourishing” while we were at the conference, introduced me to the word “thrivocracy”. I liked the feel of that immediately. Kelly Carlin, moved the audience to tears in her exploration of life as the daughter of the notorious unbelieving comic, George Carlin. It was full and very filling.
One speaker, however, would have brought me to my feet with applause in the middle of her speech had I not thought I might get mobbed by doing so. Sikivu Hutchinson was a panelist speaking on “Humanism and Race”. She is the kind of speaker that mesmerizes you with the depth of her knowledge of the topic and the breadth of experience she brings to it. Working in Los Angeles, she is engaged on a daily basis with issues of systemic everything – poverty, race, gender inequity, access to education. Her experience had brought so many disparate words together into graphic compound words or hyphenated combinations of reality that created exquisitely detailed images in my mind as she spoke. One after another after another.
But the one that really stuck for me was the word “monomaniacal.”
It means obsessed. Obsessed to the point that other things are ignored or forgotten about. Which sounds like an addiction to me – the super-focused attention on one issue or thing that overcomes your life and makes it impossible for you to see or maintain anything else well. You become oblivious to relationships. To opportunities (unless they provide an opportunity to showcase your obsession). To the creation of meaning that isn’t poisoned by your obsession. Of the big words Sikivu used, monomaniacal was probably one of the smaller ones.
Still, it spoke to what was, for me, one of the biggest issues at the conference that wasn’t being addressed. Here’s how she used it:
[Tweet “Humanists need to get over their monomaniacal obsession with the pitfalls of religion. Sikivu Hutchinson”]Whoa! That cut to the heart of almost everyone in the room. Over and over, throughout the weekend, I heard derisive jokes about religion and those for whom a faith tradition is important. I heard applause at the use of derogatory language, laughter at mockery, guffaws of affirmation when a particular heinous story was told about a religious background or former beliefs. It permeated the conference. At one point, the President Rebecca Hale was referred to as their “Lord and Saviour” and grown men did obeisance, touching their foreheads to the ground in devotion before her. All in good fun. (continued below…)
Sikivu’s words reminded everyone there that the “monomaniacal obsession with the pitfalls of religion” threatens to drain the soul out of the humanist movement. With so many crucially important things to be done, getting beyond the equivalent of James Fowler’s fourth stage of spiritual development, the crashing, crushing realization that all the stories you’ve been told are not true, is an imperative. There, only anger toward religion exists and those who carry it around, burning themselves up from the inside out, cannot see beyond the deeply tragic and troubling realities of fundamentalist religion to the deeply human needs that created religion. Understanding these needs, exploring new ways to address them, and engaging in conversation with others who seek to do so, even and especially those who remain within religious institutions, is crucial to the human experiment.
While much needs to be torn down to create a sustainable future for all, getting stuck in its wreckage helps no one. It leaves us mocking and angry, feeling superior to those whose lives were spent creating what we’ve just undone, and stamping our feet in the dust of our destruction while others pick their way out of the debris in order to build something of worth.
I want to spend the rest of my life creating, not simply tearing down. Beyond the beliefs that divide us, there is a world filled with possibility. We must reach into those future possibilities and pick for ourselves, others, the planet, and distant future generations the best, most beautiful, and life-honoring. And then we need to work to make them manifest in our lifetime or build the foundations upon which they can be built for our children’s children. The creative work of imagining a sustainable future will not be done with anger. It can only be done with love.
[Tweet “The creative work of imagining a sustainable future will not be done with anger. It can only be done with love.”]
*The videos aren’t up yet so I can’t confirm those were her exact words, but you get the idea.
24 Responses
Forgot. Please count me in on your blog. You are so right in pushing humanists and particularly atheists into a more positive role. We don’t have the time or energy to waste in pulling down others. I hate [pun intended] that negativity in part of this movement.
Done! Thanks for visiting, Dale. I like the Q idea and will take a look for more info on it.
“You may call me an agnostic, but I do not share the crusading spirit of the professional atheist whose fervor is mostly due to a painful act of liberation from the fetters of religious indoctrination received in youth. I prefer an attitude of humility corresponding to the weakness of our intellectual understanding of nature and of our own being.” — Albert Einstein.
Like Darwin (whose only comment on his beliefs was also one in which he rejected atheism in favour of agnosticism) Einstein realized that bashing religion simply sets up an alternative set of dogmas in its place. We have to learn from our mistakes in this domain, not repeat them. The ‘new atheism’ bothers me deeply as it is repeating these mistakes, positioning science as the new God, and fueling the sort of intolerance of other cultures and ways of being that was so vividly on display when PEN honoured Charlie Hebdo a month ago.
We are all human, and religion is part of our human legacy. But science has taught us much since the holy books were written (evolution being a notable example). We can’t reject the spirit of religion, but we can’t go back to ancient ignorances either. There is no choice but to give birth to something entirely new. Gretta, can you help us?
Ah, Brett. I so hope that I can. We need to raise the bar and refuse to participate even when the ridicule touches us in a very deep place and we want to lash out. It is about respect and making the world a place where it flourishes. Beyond fundamentalist perspectives of any kind that privilege one’s perspective over another’s. If we begin by voicing our discomfort, refusing to participate, providing inspiration instead of evisceration, I think we will take a very solid step forward. It will not be easy. It isn’t easy to call someone on a sexist or a homophobic comment when the entire milieu is steeped in it. There is risk and none of us particularly like risk. But we no longer abide racist jokes in media and more and more, we are intolerant of other forms of bullying. So I am encouraged and hopeful and I am hoping this site breeds strength in those who visit it so that they, too, feel solid enough to say, “Stop.”
Thanks Gretta. Yes, doing it with love. Glad to be receiving these.
Libby
Hugs, Libby. Miss you!
I don’t believe in the “god” that most atheists say they don’t believe in. As J.B. Phillips would have said, those gods are too small. Not to be monomaniacally obsessed with the negative, I can affirm the God I know, even without satisfactory articulation, and go looking forward from there.
Thanks, Russell. I do get a lot of responses from people who also don’t believe in the god I don’t believe in. Often, when they tell me that, they are assuming I am too naive to be able to respond to that argument. But the god I and other atheists don’t believe in is behind a lot of very negative activity in this world and I am loath to allow anyone to assume by my use of the word, that I am condoning that activity. Another great blog idea, though, Russell. Thanks for that!
Thank you for this post. I become terribly frustrated with atheists that continually deride religion.
I live in Indiana. It is a politically and religiously conservative state in the U.S. The fundamentalist churches here tend to espouse some politically and socially bigoted beliefs. There are also some liberal churches here too. Before I realized That I am agnostic I belonged to one of them. I find fundamentalists frustrating, but still the ones I know show up to help others. Both groups have people that will show up at a food bank to volunteer.
The religious right in this country feels persecuted by other people excercizing their own rights to marry who they want, and to plan families. It is very frustrating. Their bigotry disgusts me. But they are also my neighbors. They are the ones who helped me get my daughters power wheelchair onto a deck to save us from a flash flood we were trying to escape.
I guess what I am trying to say is that when you really see people and not just their wacky beliefs things aren’t so black and white.
I don’t like bigotry. I don’t like it when it comes from the mouths of fundamentalists, and I don’t like it when it comes from the mouths of atheists. It doesn’t solve problems. It only boosts some egos at the expense of others. It divides.
I like that, Nancy. When we really see people and not just their beliefs, things DO look different and it is not so easy to dismiss people. Some of the finest people I know were steeped in loving, community oriented evangelical communities as children. They didn’t see the negative side of their religion until they became critical thinkers but up until then, they experienced being cherished. It has made them beautiful beyond belief. Hey, that sounds like a great blog idea! “Beautiful beyond Belief!” Thanks, Nancy.
Excellent post Gretta! I really like what you said about the obsession that some atheist/humanists demonstrated at the conference. It always bothers me when I come in contact with a militant atheist whose raison d’etre in life seems to be to go out of their way to deride religion. I find that in many ways a militant anti-religious atheist is often as narrow minded as a committed Christian fundamentalist. They both look at religion through a vision clouded by their assumptions and prejudices.
I’m often asked how I am different from a secular humanist or a Unitarian Universalist. Until we figure out how to find our commonalities in the world of values, we will be mired in the task of defending our differences and denying the validity of those others display. Thanks for being part of the change, Doug.
EXCELLENT article Gretta, thank you. I am going to be committing much of this to memory to act as a reminder to me.
Thanks, Joe! Do let me know if you share it with others what their responses are.
all the best,
gretta
Gretta,
I publicly confess that I have often responded to fundamentalist positions on social issues with anger and sarcasm. I now make a public commitment to work with religious people on correcting some of the pressing social justice and global issues of today. Our survival on this planet depends on understanding those who differ from us and cooperating together on a new redemption plan for our species and their habitat.
Thanks for the post,
Calvin
And I have rolled my eyes on too many occasions. I think we are all guilty of being dismissive if not derisive when it comes to ideas that do not match our own. Thanks for owning it and getting past it, Calvin. I’m right behind you on that!
Sounds like an exciting and inspiring time, Gretta! LOVED what Sikivu Hutchinson said, “The pitfalls of religion are indeed great, but the work of systemic change cannot be done if humanism’s greatest achievement is simply deriding them.” So true – for progressive/liberal Christians to remember as we talk about traditional/conservative Christians as well…. Nothing is truly progressive when it only serves to deride the other.
Thanks, Jordan. That one was actually from me. Sikivu was amazing. The whole panel was. Anthony Pinn, Chris Driscoll, and Monica Miller joined her. Hugely effective combination of voices.
I’ve been a Humanist, officially, since 1994 and the complaint about “monomaniacal obsession with the pitfalls of religion” draining the ‘soul’ out of the humanist movement was also being talked about back then and has come up from time to time as new people join the group.
I’ve never believed that mockery of religion or focusing on their pitfalls takes anything away from Humanism. We can multitask.
We just have to remember that not all religious people are benign liberal believers, most of the evangelicals and fundamentalists won’t ever like us no matter how nice we are. In fact they like to use our civility against us at times. They also like to mock secular people.
I agree that mocking the religious shouldn’t be the 1st priority, but I also think we should talk about what Humanists are doing to change things rather than what they shouldn’t be doing.
Then I think it won’t be such an issue.
I am a progressive, but not an atheist. I don’t know why. Nor do I believe that the atheists who say that they are atheist are really atheists. If you pray, how can you say that your are an atheist? To whom are you praying? To what? To whom are you speaking? To the Community? Ah yes! The community, the body, the fellowship. Somewhere in the midst of the Body – I AM. There is the realm of the mysterious, the ineffable, the wondrous. Do I, do you, do we not sense it all around us? We do not have to give it a name because it already has a name – Ï am, you are, she is”. That I love somebody or think I love somebody, that I care and that they care for me – ultimately and unconditionally – is that not enough? Why give it a name when it needs no name. It is an activity, an attitude, a disposition, a position – not a name or a noun. We all know that there is no life without energy (light). But what is Love and where does it come from and where is it going?
To blog or not to blog – that is the question? I personally do not blog nor care for it nor have the time for it. But that you – Gretta and you others – do seem to have the time and the concern, I find that rather extraordinary, if not miraculous. In other words, you have the time and the space within yourselves to care, to reach out, to share your thoughts and ideas and what you have recently learned. I like what Gretta has recently heard and shared from the conference in Denver. So very, very good. “The poor, the religious, I tell you, will always be with us.
Gretta,
I enjoyed meeting you and hearing your moving talk at #AHAcon15. Though I sympathize with humanists who have made a painful break with religion, I have been “preaching” for years that we need to get over mere angry atheism. Indeed, I’ve called for a Good Faith Allliance to bring about progressive change. You and others who agree might find this short essay worth reading: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/clay-naff/to-counter-the-chorus-of-hate-we-must-form-an-alliance-of-good-faith_b_1908828.html
Sincere regards,
Clay
Thank you, Clay. Yes it was lovely meeting you. Thank you for the article. Shared sentiments, for sure. As I was writing Amen, The pastor in Florida was threatening to burn the Koran. The truth is, there is enough horror in anyone’s holy book to condemn the whole lot of them and enough beauty to hold them close. A conundrum. But I think the best way forward is to read them all as poetry, keeping what is inspirational and rinsing the whole clean of any divine imprimatur.
best,
gretta
Gretta, I support your sentiments 100%. Love, peace and justice are just too important to be the property of any one cohort. Cooperation among those who value these would do so much more for their cause than the in-fighting among the alleged supporters. Westhill is a beacon of hope for me. I only wish there was an equivalent in Scotland!
John
Thank you, John! As long as we are able, we will keep clearing the path. So many luminaries to follow, inside and outside the church. And so many yet to find their way.
Peace,
gretta
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